100 Word Challenge- …so that is why I am always last…

Want to know why I am always last? Her! Ever since she became Leader she places me last on purpose. So unfair! Can’t the school see what she is doing? Either they are dumb and can’t see or they just pick favorites and don’t care what the actual score is. Why is she leader anyway? Why couldn’t the school have picked someone else? Anyway, she absolutely HATES me. She thinks it’s funny to see me get a first place and then she’ll say “No you cheated.” Is this really fair to you? So anyway, that is why I am always last.

4 Responses

  1. antsclass says:

    Sofia,
    your voice is so clear here- you use a variety of sentence types and lengths to engage us- question- exclamation of 1 word, exclamation, question- by doing this you sound so obviously frustrated and angry. The way you refer to your nemesis only as ‘her’ and ‘she’ makes your hatred for her clear.
    As a reader I even wonder whether I trust the narrator. From the way she uses words like ‘dumb’ and ‘HATES’ I get the feeling that maybe the ‘leader’ isn’t quite as bad as she’s making out-and that maybe our narrator is creating the conflict by her own behaviour!
    This is very clever writing to ‘show not tell’ this aspect of character and ask the reader to figure this out.
    Great work!
    Ant

  2. Finn Darlington says:

    I really like the strong emotions in this piece of writing. It was well written and we could see very clearly that she didn’t like you and you didn’t like her

  3. phoebe2014 says:

    I really like this Sofia, it shows about real life problems with real life people. I like how you connect to the audience by asking them a question. I also like how you used “her”, not “Stacy” or “gorgia” or “Freddie” or some other name.
    Phoebe

  4. sofiama2016 says:

    Thanks

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